Don't Think I Don't Think About It
by 4eVerXobsEsseD
Summary: Sam finally sees Leah again after 6 years. They get together and discuss the things left unsaid. Post Breaking Dawn -- One-Shot/Song-fic


An abrupt noise caused Sam to lift his head up from Emily's beautiful, dark chocolate brown eyes and glance towards the door. He felt his heart clench in his chest as her took her in. It had been nearly 6 years since he had seen her last. The shock he felt must have shown on his face because the woman before him giggled softly as he stared. She had let her hair grow back to its once magnificent luster and her eyes, which used to be dull and full of grief had transformed into sparkling orbs of wonder. There were parts of her that were the same old girl she once was. Her skin appeared soft and flawless just like it always had and her features were still beautiful enough to make anyone, man or woman, stare in awe. Her thin form was wrapped up in a long wool coat and her arms were not folded across her chest like they always used to be.

"Leah," He breathed, unable to look away. She smiled brightly, even letting out one of her infamous snorts. He hadn't heard one in years.

"Of course it's me! Now get up and give your cousin in law a hug," Leah stated opening her arms wide and giggling as Sam swept over and wrapped her up in a big bear hug. As he spun her around in a circle, he thought back to those years when he and Leah had had a future together. It seemed so long ago but it was almost as if things were how they used to be. Sam watched her as she ran to Emily and they tightly embraced. Even though he loved Emily with such a burning passion nothing could ever wash out the flame, a piece of his heart still belonged to Leah. Since the day he had left her standing on the front porch angry and grief-stricken, he had thought about how things could've turned out for them. For those first few years he hated himself for doing that to her with such ferocity he could've committed suicide. It was basically thanks to Emily that he was able to be standing there today, observing the both of them together.

Something sparkling on Leah's left hand suddenly caught his attention. Without thinking, he strode over and grabbed it to see if it really was what he imagined. It was. There on her left ring finger, glittering in a thousand different facets, rested a 5 carat diamond ring. She and Emily both stood in shocked silence at his rude gesture but eventually they both smiled.

"I got married last year," She explained, examining the ring for herself," It's not too much is it?" When the words were out of her mouth, Sam gaped and abruptly dropped her hand. Sam couldn't possibly be jealous. Could he? He had Emily and this wasn't supposed to be happening. He should be happy for Leah, happy that her pain was over and done with. Happy that she had finally found someone. All of the memories they had shared played in his mind like a sappy romance film. Every kiss, every laugh, every fight, every little piece replayed in perfect detail. When Sam came back to his senses he realized he was gripping Leah's hand a little too tightly and Emily was looking at him in bewilderment. It was worse when he met Leah's glittery brown eyes though, because there in them rested the old Leah. Her eyes had returned to the same dull, hurt, despising look she had given him the last time he had seen her. Sam frantically looked around and stumbled backwards. He couldn't stand to look at that expression any more. With one deeper eye connection between the two of them, he released all hesitation and sprinted out the door to his truck. Right after he climbed in and slammed the door shut. The tension building up in his body exploded just then and he slammed his head into the steering wheel. His forehead was still pressed up against it when Leah climbed into the passenger seat but he didn't say anything.

"Why did you do that?" She asked in a hushed tone. Sam refused to answer and stubbornly kept his head on the steering wheel. He didn't have to see her to know she was crying. After a few more minutes of awkward silence, she spoke again.

"I bet you never thought of me once after I left. I bet you don't have any regrets about how it ended either." Her tone was forlorn and full of anger. In exasperation, Sam raised his eyes up to meet hers once again. The look in them triggered the pain all over again, so much he couldn't speak. Her speech made him think hard and with that a song came to mind. Without any words he started his car and pressed play on the CD player and searched for the track he was thinking about until he found it. They listened together in speechlessness.

I left out in a cloud of taillights and dust  
Swore I wasn't coming back, said I'd had enough  
Saw you in the rear view standing, fading from my life  
But I wasn't turnin' 'round  
No not this time

But don't think I don't think about it  
Don't think I don't have regrets  
Don't think it don't get to me  
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey  
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout  
Could've been, should've been all worked out  
I know what I felt, and I know what I said  
But don't think I don't think about it

When we make choices, we gotta live with them  
Heard you found a real good man and you married him  
I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind  
Where would we be today  
If I never drove that car away?

Don't think I don't think about it  
Don't think I don't have regrets  
Don't think it don't get to me  
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey  
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout  
Could've been, should've been all worked out  
Yeah I know what I felt, and I know what I said  
But don't think I don't think about it  
Don't think I don't think about it

Don't think I don't think about it  
Don't think I don't have regrets  
Don't think you don't get to me  
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey  
Don't think I don't wonder 'bout  
Could've been, should've been all worked out  
I know what I felt, and I know what I said  
But don't think I don't think about it, no no

Don't think I don't  
Don't think I don't

After the song ended, silence engulfed them. With much force, he brought his eyes back to hers. The first thing he noticed were the thick tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. She was beautiful even when she was sobbing uncontrollably. Sam felt his own eyes well up with tears at the thought of what he did to her then, and what he was doing to her now.

"I'm sorry," He whispered pulling her into a tight hug from across the seat," For everything." She continued looking down as he uttered those four words for what seemed like the millionth time. After a long while, she wiped her red rimmed eyes and whispered back," I know. I forgive you."

With all things said and done, they both climbed out of his truck and Sam made his way back to his love, his life, his forever, his Emily.


End file.
